It only takes just one conversation to make others like you. Here are some simple ways to start crafting a “million-dollar personality” and become the most likable person in the room:
Keep eye contact. The first thing people will try to decide about you when they meet you is if they can trust you – and it’s fairly hard to like someone if you don’t trust them. Their decision is made almost entirely unconsciously, and it usually comes down to how well you can balance conveying two things: warmth and competence. One simple way to show you’re paying attention is to make eye contact and hold it. Making eye contact is also an effective way to convey competence, and studies have shown that those who do so are consistently judged as more intelligent.
Smile. Smiling is another simple and effective way to convey warmth. You also can laugh, tell jokes and use positive body language.
Show enthusiasm. Along with a smile, show some enthusiasm and energy, also known as charisma.
Put away your smartphone. “Pay attention. Look at theother person with no interruptions.
Give a firm handshake. Your handshake should be firm, but not too hard, certainly not limp and soft and with no dominance play.
Call people by name. Repeat people’s names numerous times as you speak to them. Tell someone else these people’s names, in case you do forget and need a reminder. Write names down in your phone with a short description of who they are and how you met them.
Practice your listening skills. Listen more than you speak. Don’t just hear words – actively listen. Active listening requires four steps: hearing, interpreting, evaluating and responding. Drop what you’re doing and pay attention. Paraphrase what you’ve heard and ask clarifying questions. Steering clear of quick judgment and jumping to conclusions. Give feedback to let the speaker know that you heard them.
Know how to accept a compliment. Accepting a compliment can be tricky because you don’t want to seem egotistical. Accept the compliment with confidence by using phrases like “Thanks! Hearing that feels really good” or “Thank you! What an amazing experience.”
It’s OK to stroke egos. Flattery grabs people by their ego and is extremely effective. Flattery comes with a caveat. Too much can be a huge turn off, especially if it doesn’t seem genuine.
If someone is interrupted, ask them to continue. Everyone has been that person who is telling a story, gets interrupted, and then has to awkwardly stand by, wondering if anyone was even listening. You can be that person’s liberator by saying something like, “Hey, can you please finish your story. I would like to hear the rest of it.”
Say you’re sorry. Taking accountability for your mistakes is instrumental in changing someone’s bad impression of you. But an “I’m sorry” when you’re not to blame for something can also be surprisingly helpful. Saying “I’m sorry” when someone tells you about something bad that happened to them is an effective way to show that you’re putting yourself in their shoes and showing empathy.
Practice good posture. Stand and sit up straight. Bad posture sends a message that you’re apathetic or unapproachable. If you convey negative body language, no one will get close enough to find out if you’re likable.
Enunciate at all times. Speaking loudly and clearly makes it easier for people to know what you’re saying.
Though yelling can be frightening, speaking loudly enough to be heard can make you sound smarter and more confident.
Be true to your word. Take ownership of your own mistakes, avoid deceit at all costs and be someone your coworkers can always count on to do the right thing. Ultimately this is what trust is all about. If you seem too warm,people may question your competence. If you appear too competent, people may assume you’re cold. Neither doormat nor jerk are particularly likable qualities. Simply be a person of your word.
Don’t complain. Being around negative people is draining.
Make everyone feel included. No one wants to feel left out. When you’re talking in a group, make sure everyone is involved.
End a conversation the right way. Your final words can leave a lasting impression on a person, so use them right. Send people off with a positive remark, such as “I enjoyed getting to know you,” “I hope you enjoy the rest of your day” or “I’ll remember our conversation.”
